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Steven Wright

Steven Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American actor, writer and stand-up comedian from New York, New York.

Wright is known for his slow, monotone delivery of ironic, witty and sometimes confusing jokes and one liners.

Wright released a comedy album in 1985 entiteld I Have a Pony.

In 1992, Wright had a reaccuring role on the television sitcom Mad About You[?].

An example of Wright's jokes

  • "I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out."
  • "When the guy who made the first drawing board got it wrong, what did he go back to?"
  • "What's another word for thesaurus?"
  • "I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
  • "Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."
  • "I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night."
  • "I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
  • "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
  • "If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses."
  • "I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now."
  • "A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
  • "The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn't stop until you get to work."
  • "Why is it, 'A penny for your thoughts,' but, you have to 'put your two cents in?' Somebody's making a penny."
  • "I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there."
  • "I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, 'Hey, maybe I wrote that.'"
  • "I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
  • "I once locked my keys out of my car. I had break out of my car with a coat hanger."
  • "There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot."
  • "We had a quicksand box in our backyard. I was an only child, eventually."

Selected filmography



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