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Sirius Cybernetics Corporation

A bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the revolution came

The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation is a fictional company from Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In the series, the SCC is responsible for the design and creation of a wide range of robots and labour-saving devices, such as lifts (elevators), automatic doors, ventilation systems[?], the infamous Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser[?], Digital watches[?], and perhaps most famously of all, Marvin the Paranoid Android.

The SCC invented a concept called Genuine People Personalities[?] ("GPP") which imbue their products with intelligence and emotion. Thus not only do doors open and close, but they thank their users for using them, or sigh with the satisfaction of a job well done. Marvin is the prototype for the GPP feature, and his depression and "terrible pain in all the diodes down his left side" are due to unresolved bugs in his software. The SCC describe their own products as "Your Plastic Pal™ Who's Fun to Be With®", though the guide itself refers to the SCC, as does this entry, as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes"

The complaints division of the SCC occupies most of the major land masses of three medium-sized planets, and its company motto is "Share and Enjoy". The motto stood in three-mile high illuminated letters on the planet Eadrax, but due to their weight sank half their length into the ground, demolishing the underground offices of many talented young complaints executives. The resulting phrase now reads (in the local language) "Go Stick Your Head in a Pig", which has since been adopted as the company song, which goes like this:

Share and Enjoy, Share and Enjoy
Journey through life with a plastic boy
Or girl, by your side
Let your pal be your guide
And when it breaks down
Or starts to annoy
Or grinds when it moves
And gives you no joy
Cos it's eaten your hat
Or had sex with your cat
Dripped oil on your wall
Or ripped off your door
Don't come to us, we won't give a fig
We'll tell you: "Go Stick Your Head in a Pig"

This song is sung at times of special celebration by a choir of robots who, due to a computing error for which the SCC is justly famous, all have their voice boxes[?] exactly a flattened fifth out of tune.

Many galactic historians consider the invention of the fictional SCC to be amazingly prescient, seeing it as a metaphor for the all too earthly company Microsoft, which rose to prominence only some fifteen years later.



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